How Polite Should Your Japanese Be? A Guide to Politeness Levels
English lets you write a sentence without deciding how you stand with the reader. You pick words, you pick a tone, and the grammar stays out of the way. Japanese does not work like that. The verb itself carries the politeness level, so every sentence asks you to make a choice: who is this person to you, and how do I show it?
Take the verb "to eat." Japanese gives you four ways to say it, and the one you pick depends on who is eating and who is listening. 食べる (taberu) is for close friends. 食べます (tabemasu) works with almost anyone. 召し上がる (meshiagaru) raises the person eating, so you use it for a guest or your boss and never for yourself. いただく (itadaku) lowers you when you are the one eating. All four mean "eat," and each one tells the listener how you see the relationship.
vharuck on Hacker News, an N4 learner describing what comes after desu/masu.
Most learners hit this wall right after desu/masu: the polite form they learned first turns out to be the simplest layer.
Learning Japanese? This article is also available in Japanese, and reading it in Japanese doubles as reading practice: 日本語で読む.
The short version: start with desu/masu and learn to recognize the formal keigo forms, then produce them once a job or a relationship demands it. Informal plain speech can wait until someone offers it to you.
Politeness is coded into the grammar
In English, formality changes your vocabulary: you say "commence" instead of "start," and you spell out what you mean. Japanese changes the verb form itself. The polite ending ます attaches to the verb stem, and です takes the place of だ:
これを食べる。(kore o taberu): I eat this.
これを食べます。(kore o tabemasu): I eat this (polite).
The two sentences use the same words in the same order. Only the ending differs, and the ending tells the listener how you stand with them.
The choice runs on your relationship with the other person: age, social position, closeness, and whether they sit inside or outside your group. Japanese has a word for the last one, 内/外 (uchi/soto), and you need it beyond politeness too: it is how you choose between あげる (ageru) and くれる (kureru) when you describe a gift.
What "keigo" means
Keigo (敬語) means "respectful language." It names the whole system of honorific speech in Japanese, and learners get confused because the word covers different ground depending on who uses it.
For Japanese speakers, keigo includes the desu/masu forms you learn in week one. In learner materials, the word usually means the two forms beyond desu/masu: sonkeigo (尊敬語, respectful language) and kenjōgo (謙譲語, humble language, often written kenjougo). A textbook's "keigo chapters" start with verbs like おっしゃる and いただく, long after desu/masu.
Japanese schools teach three categories of keigo: sonkeigo, kenjōgo, and teineigo (丁寧語, polite language). The Agency for Cultural Affairs' 2007 guidelines (敬語の指針) refine these into five: sonkeigo, kenjōgo I, kenjōgo II (also called teichōgo, 丁重語), teineigo, and bikago (美化語, beautification language, the お/ご prefixes). You will meet the five-way split in Japanese-language materials. Learner guides usually rearrange the same material into three levels of speech: plain, polite (teineigo), and keigo proper (sonkeigo and kenjōgo). This guide follows those levels.
Start with desu/masu: the safe default
The polite form, teineigo, is the desu/masu form: 食べます, 行きます, です. It is the default with anyone you do not know well: shop staff, coworkers, neighbors, the person next to you on the train. The advice from 80/20 Japanese is to make the regular polite form your default starting point; if you use it, it is hard to go wrong.
Textbooks teach this form first for two reasons. It is safe: a beginner who uses the polite form sounds like a polite beginner. And it is regular: ます attaches to the verb stem in one predictable way, a point Japanese Professor makes as well.
Japanese children learn the two in the opposite order. They grow up in the plain form (食べる, だ), the register of close friends, family, and peers, and pick up the polite form later. The practical rule for you: wait until the other person speaks to you in the plain form, then switch too. If you drop the politeness first with a stranger, you sound presumptuous; if you keep desu/masu with a close friend for months, you sound distant. Listeners give a learner some slack on both, though less of it in a business email.
Sonkeigo vs. kenjōgo: whose action is it?
Beyond desu/masu, keigo splits in two directions. Sonkeigo (尊敬語, respectful language) raises the other person: their actions, their things, their state. Kenjōgo (謙譲語, humble language) lowers you: your actions, and the actions of people on your side. You pick the direction by asking whose action the sentence is about.
Some verbs have dedicated forms for each direction:
| Plain | Sonkeigo (raises them) | Kenjōgo (lowers you) |
|---|---|---|
| 行く・来る (iku/kuru, to go/come) | いらっしゃる (irassharu) | 参る (mairu) |
| 言う (iu, to say) | おっしゃる (ossharu) | 申す (mōsu) |
| 食べる (taberu, to eat) | 召し上がる (meshiagaru) | いただく (itadaku) |
| 見る (miru, to see) | ご覧になる (goran ni naru) | 拝見する (haiken suru) |
| くれる (kureru, to give me) | くださる (kudasaru) | (none) |
| もらう (morau, to receive) | お受け取りになる (o-uketori ni naru) | いただく (itadaku) |
In the five-way split, 参る and 申す count as kenjōgo II: they make your own action sound modest to the listener even when nobody in the sentence needs raising, as in 明日から大阪に参ります (ashita kara Ōsaka ni mairimasu), "I am going to Osaka from tomorrow."
The classic learner mistake is mixing up the direction: using the humble form for the other person's action, which lowers your boss instead of you. Migaku's sonkeigo vs. kenjōgo guide calls this getting it backwards, and a Japanese listener notices at once.
The second axis is uchi/soto, inside and outside. When you speak to an outsider about someone from your own group, your side takes the humble form. Your manager also loses the honorific title: a job title works as an honorific, so 部長 moves in front of the name as a plain description, and the name gets no さん. To a customer, you say 部長の田中が申しておりました (buchō no Tanaka ga mōshite orimashita), "Tanaka, my manager, said so." To a colleague, the same person is 部長がおっしゃいました (buchō ga osshaimashita), "The manager said so."
部長に伺います。(Buchō ni ukagaimasu): I will ask the manager (humble form, said inside the company).
お客様はもういらっしゃいましたか。(Okyakusama wa mō irasshaimashita ka): Has the customer arrived yet (respectful form)?
伺う (ukagau) is the humble form of 聞く (kiku, to ask). It lowers you and raises the manager, which works only while you talk inside your own group. The customer gets いらっしゃる (irassharu), the respectful form of 来る (kuru, to come) and いる (iru, to be).
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Open AppDo you need keigo?
For a beginner, no. Teineigo carries you through shops, restaurants, trains, and most conversations for years. One Hacker News commenter, a long-time learner, put the priority order this way:
vore on Hacker News, in a thread about learning a language with AI speaking practice.
Two things follow from that. First, nobody expects a foreigner to produce sonkeigo and kenjōgo. Desu/masu is enough, even with your superior at work.
Second, the level matters more than perfect grammar. Native speakers forgive grammar mistakes from obvious non-natives, but they notice a mistake in the social hierarchy. The better your Japanese, the less slack you get: once you sound fluent, listeners stop putting a wrong level down to the language and take it as rudeness.
The trap runs the other way too. If you reach for sonkeigo and kenjōgo before you can handle them, you mix up the directions and end up humbling your listener. Few non-native speakers use keigo well, and those who do have usually studied the language for many years.
Learn them in this order: teineigo first, recognition second, production last. You will hear sonkeigo and kenjōgo in station announcements and in nearly every sentence a shop assistant says to a customer, so you need to understand them long before you speak them. If a job in Japan requires keigo, expect training: Japanese companies run keigo courses for their native-speaking new hires too.
Common learner mistakes
Learners make four mistakes again and again.
Over-politeness. Sonkeigo with friends sounds distant and strange. Stacking honorifics produces 二重敬語 (nijū keigo, double keigo) such as おっしゃられる, which teachers mark as an error. Choose the level the relationship calls for.
Switching levels without a reason. Native speakers shift between plain and polite on purpose, for an aside or for emphasis. As a learner, pick a level when the conversation starts and hold it: a conversation that starts in desu/masu and drifts into plain form sounds careless. This is the learner's version of the register check in our translation pitfalls post.
Humble forms for the other person's actions. The direction mistake from above, repeated because it is the most common one. Kenjōgo lowers you and your side, so it never describes the actions of your listener or of anyone you mean to raise.
あなた everywhere. English says "you" in every other sentence. Japanese あなた (anata) carries distance or confrontation, and a Japanese writer picks it only when that is the point. Leave it out, use the person's name with さん, or use their title. Our pitfalls post has the full list.
And one thing to unlearn: the politeness you hear in a convenience store is a script. Baito keigo (バイト敬語, "part-time job keigo") is the register service workers learn from training manuals, close kin to the "manual keigo" the commenter above complained about. Purists criticize it for producing sentences that are longer, vaguer, and sometimes ungrammatical (Wikipedia), like こちらコーヒーになります (kochira kōhī ni narimasu), literally "this becomes coffee." Listen to it and learn to understand it, but keep it out of your own conversations.
Politeness and warmth are separate
Politeness in Japanese manages social distance and says nothing about warmth. A speaker can turn you down or insult you in flawless keigo, and Japanese has a word for that: 慇懃無礼 (ingin burei), rudeness delivered through excessive politeness.
Japanese speakers use the same system for the polite no: a long, indirect, apologetic answer that never states the refusal outright. If the reply circles around your request, treat the indirectness as the answer.
A practical ladder
Facing a new sentence, work through the situation:
| Situation | Level | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Close friends, family | Plain | これお願い (kore onegai), "This, please." |
| First meeting, shop, restaurant, train | Polite (teineigo) | これをお願いします (kore o onegaishimasu), "This, please." |
| Your own action, toward someone above you | Polite + humble (kenjōgo) | 資料をお送りします (shiryō o o-okuri shimasu), "I will send you the documents." |
| The other person's action, when you raise them | Polite + respectful (sonkeigo) | どうぞ召し上がってください (dōzo meshiagatte kudasai), "Please, help yourself." |
| Your manager, mentioned to a customer | Humble, no honorific title | 部長の田中が申しておりました (buchō no Tanaka ga mōshite orimashita), "Tanaka, my manager, said so." |
Teineigo is the level Japanese speakers use with strangers when no hierarchy is in play, and the one a textbook can teach you to produce correctly.
If you want to practice the choice on your own sentences, Fink shows your translation and explains the choices behind it on one screen.
Questions people ask
What is keigo? Keigo (敬語) is the Japanese system of honorific speech: "respectful language." In Japanese, the word covers the whole politeness system, desu/masu included. In learner materials it usually means the two forms beyond desu/masu: sonkeigo (respectful) and kenjōgo (humble).
What is the difference between formal and informal Japanese? Informal, or casual, Japanese is the plain form: 食べる, だ. Formal Japanese starts at desu/masu and adds sonkeigo and kenjōgo where there is a clear hierarchy, at work or in customer service.
How many politeness levels does Japanese have? Japanese schools teach three categories of keigo: sonkeigo, kenjōgo, and teineigo. Japan's Agency for Cultural Affairs splits them into five in its 2007 guidelines: sonkeigo, kenjōgo I, kenjōgo II (teichōgo), teineigo, and bikago. Learner guides usually arrange the same material as three levels of speech: plain, polite (desu/masu), and keigo proper (sonkeigo and kenjōgo).
What is the difference between sonkeigo and kenjōgo? They point in opposite directions. Sonkeigo raises the other person: you use it for their actions and their things. Kenjōgo lowers you: you use it for your own actions when the listener is above you, or when you speak to an outsider about someone from your own group.
When should I use desu/masu? With anyone you do not know well. It is the default in shops, at work, and with acquaintances. Use the plain form with close friends and family, and wait for the other person to use the plain form first.
Is keigo necessary for beginners? No. The polite form carries everyday life for years. Learn to recognize sonkeigo and kenjōgo from the start, and produce them when a Japanese workplace or a customer-facing job requires it.
Do foreigners need to use keigo in Japan? Not in everyday life. Shops, restaurants, and most conversations work in desu/masu, and Japanese speakers do not expect sonkeigo or kenjōgo from a visitor. A Japanese workplace is different: there you will need to produce them, and most companies train new hires in them.
Why is keigo so hard? The choice depends on relationships: who is above whom, who is inside your group, whether the action is yours or theirs. A textbook can list the forms, and you learn when to use them by talking to people.
What is the difference between keigo and teineigo? Teineigo (丁寧語) is the polite desu/masu level, one category inside keigo. When learners say "keigo," they usually mean the rest: sonkeigo and kenjōgo.
Sources and further reading
The two quotes in this post are verbatim from public Hacker News comments: vharuck on what comes after desu/masu and vore on getting by without keigo. The three-way and five-way classifications come from Wikipedia's overview of honorific speech in Japanese and the Agency for Cultural Affairs' 敬語の指針 (2007); baito keigo is covered in its Wikipedia article. The default-polite advice follows 80/20 Japanese and Japanese Professor; the direction model and the backwards-mistake warning follow Migaku's sonkeigo vs. kenjōgo guide; the casual/polite/very-polite framing that dominates English-language guides is Duolingo's. Romanizations follow Hepburn. For the register problems that appear when you translate rather than speak, see Translating Japanese: 10 Pitfalls That Quietly Change the Meaning; for the loop of looking up, reading, and comparing that makes examples like these stick, see how to use a translator to learn a language.